Gratuitous
by serenelystrange
Summary: My friend Katie gave me the prompt of wet, shirtless, Eliot. And really, who am I to argue with that? So I bring you this little piece of fun. And grumpiness. Because grumpy!Eliot is always fun.


Eliot should have been surprised when she appeared in front of him, but he was, sadly, all too used to it by now.

"Parker," he greeted, "Why are you in my living room on my day off?"

She lifted a small duffel bag in reply, "Can I use your shower?"

Eliot just stared for a moment. Of all the things he was expecting, this was definitely not one of them.

"What happened to yours?"

Parker shrugged, "The hot water isn't working. It's supposed to be fixed in a few days, I wasn't really listening. But I'm dirty now, and I want to get clean."

If it was anybody but Parker, Eliot would swear she was flirting with him. But it was Parker, and he knew better.

Thinking for a moment, he just shrugged and pointed her towards the bathroom, "Towels are in the closet if you need them."

She grinned and gave a little bounce, "yay!"

.

.

It wasn't until a few minutes later and one very loud and _wrong _ sounding click that Eliot realized he forgot to warn Parker about his peculiar shower.

"Eliot!" Parker's voice hit his ears in a shrill tone.

He cringed, she did not sound happy. Tossing his book to the couch beside him, Eliot hastened to the bathroom, pulling open the door to access the damage.

"Jesus, Parker! Put some clothes on!" Eliot yelled as he nearly ran into a buck ass naked Parker.

Parker, however, did not put clothes on. In fact, she stood, with a hand on her hip, tapping her foot in annoyance.

"The water is cold!" she huffed, "And it sprayed everywhere!"

Eliot kept his eyes trained on her face, "Yeah... forgot to mention that the dial is a little... finicky."

"Finicky," Parker repeated.

"Yeah," Eliot nodded, "Finicky, like, touch and go, temperamental."

"I know what it means," Parker sighed, "Can you just fix it? I'm getting cold."

"Well then we're back to put some fucking clothes on, Parker," Eliot shot back, "Or at the very least, a towel."

"Fine," Parker rolled her eyes, "Prude."

She stalked to the closet of the spacious bathroom and pulled out a fluffy green towel, wrapping herself up cozily, before moving to sit cross-legged on the closed toilet seat, and waited.

Eliot rolled his eyes, then turned to see what the problem with the shower was. He leaned over and tried to shut it off, but the dial turned ineffectively around the knob.

"Dammit, Parker, you stripped the metal. There's no traction left."

Parker had the decency to look ashamed, "Sorry."

And then Eliot felt like an ass. "No, it's alright, I should've fixed it months ago anyway. Don't worry about it."

Parker just shrugged noncommittally and Eliot sighed, but went back to work.

The arms of his long sleeved tshirt were already soaked through as he tried in vain to get the damn dial to turn. He flicked the switch that was supposed to turn the stream from shower to bath, but nothing happened. He couldn't help it, he glared at Parker.

"Hey! I didn't even touch that one!" she defended.

Eliot just grunted. Wordlessly, he made his way to the sink and rustled through the cabinet beneath until he came up with a wrench.

Parker watched with interest as Eliot stepped right into the shower, allowing his shirt and jeans to be assaulted by the cold water. With one hard tug, he pulled the dial right off the shower knob, tossing it into the trash without looking.

By this time, he was soaked through and through, clothes sticking to him like a second skin. His hair was plastered to his face as he leaned forward with the wrench, trying to keep his head as much out of the water as he could.

Finally getting the wrench to attach to the slippery surface, Eliot gripped tight and twisted, huffing in victory when the knob turned and the incessant cold water came to a stop.

Parker giggled as he did a spectacular impersonation of a dog as he shook off as much water as he could before stepping out of the bathtub. He just scowled, before pulling off the soaked shirt and tossing it to the tub in annoyance.

"That water is fucking cold, Parker!" he growled, shivering.

Parker gave him a once over, noticing the way the water made his whole chest gleam in the bright bathroom lights, and how the droplets made interesting trails down his back, dipping into those low riding jeans, just as soaked.

She shook herself of the thoughts. After all, this was Eliot.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "Right, cold! Cold is bad."

Parker hopped up, carefully on the wet floor, and before Eliot could stop her, removed her towel and wrapped it over Eliot's shoulders, rubbing his arms soothingly.

"There. Better." she smiled encouragingly.

Eliot wanted to be angry, he did. But Parker was naked, again, and it took enough effort to focus on non-naked things, he had no energy left to be angry.

Instead he just sighed, "I'm going to change."

.

Parker watched him go until she heard the bedroom door click shut. Getting redressed, she suddenly remembered why she had shown up to begin with.

"But Eliot!" she called out from the living room, "Where will I shower now?"

Muffled curses were her only reply.

.

.

Hardison opened his door at the persistent knocking, to find Eliot and Parker standing there, Eliot looking annoyed and Parker looking slightly crazy. So, pretty much the norm. And then he noticed that each of this team members held duffel bags.

"Come in," he ushered them, "What's going on?"

Eliot just glared at Parker and stalked to Hardison's couch, settling himself down and commandeering the remote.

Parker, however, grinned up at him, "Can we use your shower?"

"What ha..." Hardison began, but was cut off by Eliot.

"Don't. Ask." the hitter growled, brushing his still damp hair out of his eyes.

"Thanks!" Parker grinned as she made her way to the bathroom without another glance.

.

Hardison made his way back to the couch carefully, sitting on the far opposite end of Eliot.

"Sooo..." he attempted.

Eliot just glared at him for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.

"Right," Hardison rolled his eyes, "I'll ask Parker when she's done with her shower, then."

Eliot just ignored him. Hardison rolled his eyes again and pulled his laptop to him, booting it up. He might as well earn some achievements while he waited.

The shower sounded to life from the bathroom and Eliot flinched visibly.

Hardison just gave him a look of incredulity before focusing back on his computer.

His teammates were insane.

The End.


End file.
